Tuesday, 10 February 2009

----Zombie Update ----

Two pieces of Zombie news this week:

In the "don't know whether to laugh or cry" category, we have this forthcoming publishing sensation:

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead.

I admit that there is potential in this:

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that an revenant corpse in possession of good mobility must be in want of braaaaiiiiinss."

"Believe me, my dear Miss Elizabeth, that your modesty, so far from doing you any disservice, rather adds to your other perfections. You would have been less amiable in my eyes had there not been this little unwillingness; but allow me to assure you that I have your respected mother's braaaiiinnnsss. You can hardly doubt the purport of my discourse, however your natural delicacy may lead you to dissemble; my attentions have been too marked to be mistaken. Almost as soon as I entered the house I singled you out as braaaiiinss. But before I am run away with by my feelings on this subject, perhaps it will be advisable for me to state my reasons for marrying -- and moreover for coming into Hertfordshire with the design of selecting braaaiiiinnnss, as I certainly did."

However, as the publishers claim that this "insanely" funny novel will introduce Austen's classic work to a new generation of fans, I'm going to come down on the side of weeping.

In other news, Oliver Kamm reveals that, whatever his many other attributes and accomplishment, he will be little more than dead weight when World War Z kicks off

UPDATE: A reader asks reasonably, in the comments below: "Is there any kind of evidence that you would accept as evidence for the supernatural?"
There is. In John's Gospel (11: 43-44) we read: "And when he thus had spoken, he cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth. And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin."
If a man who has been dead for four days, such that "by this time he stinketh", is brought back to life then I will unhesitatingly accept this as evidence of supernatural intervention.

Bad instincts Kamm. When confronted with four-day-old walking corpses, your only unhesitating response should be to destroy the brain or remove the head. What good shall it profit a man if he gaineth his soul, but loseth his brains?

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