Waffle

Under the Conservatives, the people of Britain will both eat their cake and have it, said David Cameron. Speaking at Davos, he outlined the Conservative vision of baking:

"Yes, we're in favour of cake-eating. I've said many times, cake-eating is what drives our economy. But when cake-eating gets in the way of our society, our environment and our values, then we must not sit there and take it, going along with the old orthodoxy that cake-eating is all that matters. We must speak out. It's time to make sure people have cake - even if that means disrupting the global cake-eating agenda. It's time to decentralise baking, so that people can have cake at a local level. We must look after parents and families, and make sure that they have all the cake they need.

Because let me make this clear. Lots of people today are worried that they won't have cake, and angry with the cake-eaters for eating it all. And my party is basically the party of cake-eating. So I'm in a bit of a bind here. That's why I say to the people of Britain, you can have your cake. And to my party I say, of course we'll eat cake. That's what being leader of the Opposition is all about."